| (no subject) |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|04:24 am] |
after reducing my expectations, keeping my hope at a neutral level, and still keeping my standards high... something just happened that brought my mind to a new level of happiness.
it's funny how things come together when we least expect it. |
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| i'm curious so... |
[Mar. 5th, 2005|02:02 am] |
If you read this,
even if i don't speak to you often,
you must post a memory of me.
it can be anything you want, it can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.
(then post this to your journal. see what people remember about you.) |
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| you change all the lead, sleepin' in my head |
[Feb. 10th, 2005|12:24 am] |
i wrote a new acoustic song today... the best way to describe it would be fun-pop... it's fun and catchy. i think listening to the arcade fire album today influenced me. i want to perform it soon... i was thinking of playing a show with matt ellis, emma's boyfriend. i think it would be appropriate with two solo acoustic artists... although i do want emma to sing a few songs too.... so it won't be completely solo.
i had a great time with her last night. we went to see the motorcycle diaries and it was absolutely wonderful. we also went to visit mr. matt ellis who is a charming young lad. i've been having a great time with all my friends lately... i've realized i don't need to have that significant other to have a good time.
lindsay and i spent all day together on friday. we went shopping at waterford lakes.. spent two hours in target eating jelly beans and not paying for them, tried to hoola-hoop and failed miserably (she's got hips and i don't.. or at least mine aren't as flexible), watched her try on guy's undershirts hahaha (that sounds wrong but it was cute.). we went to this party store and then to marble slab and had the best ice cream. then i picked up some goodies for her from garret's house... raf and i picked up some beers, and we partied it up for a little at lindsay's.
elyse and i hung out last saturday - we went to this amazing thai restaurant and filled our stomachs up with culinary bliss. we also went to this top secret place that i will not talk of. then we tried to go party hunting around lake mary with daryll and emma to no avail. i ended up spending the night at daryll's house.. we watched orange county, drank beers, and i fell asleep. his cat is freakin possessed... it kept on scratching my feet when i was sleeping and running around like a loon. effing nuts.
life is lovely. i have no reason to post anything more in this livejournal though because it just starts unnecessary bullshit. so this is it... i think? i'll keep it up to view my friends list and to read/comment on people's posts that are drama-free. farewell. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 27th, 2005|01:58 am] |
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another night of sleep and smiles.if i keep this up i may have to trade in my face for a new one because my happy muscles are getting worn out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|02:44 pm] |
i have a poor short term memory because i don't want to remember the consistency in conversation. most of us don't like hearing redudancy and i think i've built up a good defense mechanism against my own hypocrisy. well there are good types of repitition like "i love you" and "you're beautiful" and "i've never felt this way before"... i have to admit i'm a big fan and user of those but only to those worthy of such affection. it's great to know that theres someone in my life i can say that to at the moment without worrying about sounding like an answering machine... of course i wouldn't know if i sounded like such because i can't remember shit :)
someones in denial by the way and it's very obvious. you know who you're and it's sad because i've stated my position and you should move on. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|12:46 am] |
i shall go to sleep smiling and i say everyone should too.
so do it damnit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|05:50 pm] |
i'm tired of lies. i want to tell the world the truth even if it hurts and i think everyone else should do the same. it's a fucking shame that people get hurt with honesty but it's even more of a fucking shame when lies and deception plague a situation and hurt more people in the long run.
but i have to go to work :) yay :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|02:25 am] |
whenever anyone talks about things being cyclical... as far as relationships... i tend to not believe it. i always wanted to have that naive romantic point of view when love's lightening can strike at anytime creating perfection. but it's just so weird, every year at generally the same exact time i either find someone or i get my heart broken. it will proceed this way for the next two months until either something drastically bad happens or the relationship stays together (but fades gradually). i really hope this molded consistency changes. i really hope someone breaks through the regular bullshit and forever remains a part of great happiness in my life. this morning i felt optimistic, this afternoon i felt cynical, and tonight i'm optimistic again... i think my true state is optimism. i know things are going to work out for me. i just don't know who it'll be... i guess it's too early to really tell.
the new mars volta album, frances the mute, was leaked a few weeks back. i've been listening to it every day and night since then. it is, without a doubt, one of the best albums of our time, of our generation, and DEFINITELY the best album of the year. i find it almost impossible for any band but the mars volta themselves to top this. it's strange how originally i loathed this band with such a passion. i couldn't make it through their album deloused in the comatorium without getting bored, tired, or annoyed because of my love for at the drive in. first of all, there shouldn't be any comparison made between this band and at the drive in. they're COMPLETELY different in music, form, talent, etc. i will go as far as to say... frances the mute... is proof that mars volta is a more mature band than at the drive in. they may not necessarily be better.. but they're more mature. now when i go back and listen to deloused or the tremulant ep... i fucking love every second of it. they're so eclectic, so dreamy, so fucking beautiful. listening to them is like a good kick in the ass every fucking time.. if music is going in a progressive direction... the mars volta is the band that will take music there. i once thought creativity and music was at the point of death... but they have really opened up the scope for future brilliance. i know a lot of people won't agree with this but as a musician who puts a lot of effort into song writing... i know it's difficult as fuck to come up with stuff that isn't cliche. the mars volta does it with such raw simplicity... it's almost natural for them in their seamless jam session albums. i fucking love it. by the way, the leak version of frances the mute is not the best of quality and i still think it's GODLIKE. i can't wait to hear it in all it's precise cleanliness. 5 tracks long. 77 minutes long. 1 song is 30 minutes. fuck yes. |
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| HAHAHAHAHA I LOVE BEULAH LYRICS MUAHHAHAHAHA |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|04:21 pm] |
I heard he wrote you a song
But so what
Some guy wrote 69
And one just ain’t enough
And there’s so sense in trying
I know cuz I’ve been
Trying all the time to find something that would make you mine
But all I ever find my love
Are clichés that don’t rhyme |
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| after singing the wrong lyric in the freezing cold (and correcting it), she still enjoyed the song, |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|01:01 am] |
my wish of the week
to finally embrace
without the essence
of guilt and conflict
it came true today
you're in my arms
i'm in your arms
we're in the moment
tomorrow comes soon
and we're still products
of affection and attraction
the highest regards to
the beauty you encompass
seconds before i sleep
my last thought is of you
seconds after i awake
my first thought is of you
and during my dreams
the sweetest seconds
of romantic adventures
we dance to the beat
moving our lovely feet
when the song ends
we're still dancing to
the next smile.
oh love, oh dear
look at our image in the
mirror of truth and realize
we're essentially beauty
beauty itself. |
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| this is really happening... happening. |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|12:35 am] |
i can't believe the sequence of events this weekend. as chaotic as everything seems on the outside... i feel a sense of peace, love, and happiness on the inside and thats what matters. i am embracing the moment and enjoying my life. more importantly, i am experiencing these moments with someone thats appreciative and reciprocal... with someone so wonderful in so many ways.
in the words of jerry maguire... "you complete me". |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|02:58 am] |
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romance has consumed me once again and i love it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|02:11 pm] |
all i can say about my life right now is that i've reached points of impossible understanding and realization. this is both in sadness and in happiness... at both the high and the low... i can still be myself and appreciate every little thing. lately i'd like to thank a few people for everything they've done in the past few weeks:
1. sanam - you've always been like a brother to me. we will always have something to discuss and it's always something of significance. we're both missing that essential part in our lives but i think the wait will be worth it.
2. emma - you're so dear to me. i don't tell you that enough but i really can't comprehend life without you in it. you have perspectives that really enlighten me and i'm sure this feeling is mutual. theres that unbreakable bond there that is so beautiful. i know we'll never have trouble keeping it that way.
3. jess - wow. i know i've told you pretty much a novel of great things but i will make an abridged version on here. the concept of joy surrounds you like a magnet and attracts everyone in with smiles. that is the best way i can describe you in a sentence. thank you so much for bringing me back to that positive surface.
4. andrew - sometimes i think of you as a living god. you've taught me that sadness can be embraced and that is truly beautiful. your music will never die. thank you for all your help in the past few weeks with the recording... you put in a lot of work and i really appreciate it.
5. jessica - i'm sorry. i really don't know what else to say but that. i think i've led you on too many times for the wrong reasons. what we're looking for isn't there with us like we thought it would be. the pain of me giving up on this is probably unbearable for you (i know it would be if i liked someone that much)... but you'll make it. i've learned a lot and i'm thankful for that.
6. raf - thank you for always being the mature light through everything. our friendship has always made me feel content. i respect your brilliance and you're so far from boring it's not even funny :)
7. elyse - we have had some fucking great times in the past 3 years. i really hope our band makes it because i'd love to perform with you again. thanks for the beach trip... you and holly were so much fun!
i think thats all i can think of right from the top of my head. i know it sounds like name dropping and it probably is... but i had to thank them. they're all so wonderful. i'm sure theres others that have done a lot for me recently and if you're not feeling the love tell me. i'll give you some. |
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| graceful walks to the gardens |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|01:38 pm] |
acronymic significance
abbreviated message
through canyons of desire
our museum's love painting
architectural masterpiece
invigorated structure
with pencils in hand
our sketch of amateur art
astronomic insignificance
predicted horoscope
from present to future
our fate's balance destroyed
allegorical contrivance
enlightened romance
between literal and figurative
our poetic hearts unite |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2005|02:50 am] |
oh no it's an emergency
between your body and
that sense of security
but where is your mind?
we're like little toys
you're ready to be turned on
i'm ready to be turned off
oh no it's just flirting
rub my back gently and
play with that black hair
but why do you bother?
we're like little toys
you're ready to be hurt
i'm ready to hurt you
oh no we go to the north
return home to the south
adventure could never be
obsession with perfection
we're like little toys
you're ready for first love
i'm ready for my hundreth
( these songs will change your life... or at least mine... ) |
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| i want to have a threesome with natalie portman and naomi watts |
[Jan. 12th, 2005|02:38 am] |
6. i heart huckabees - FUCKABEES! haha... this film kept me laughing consistently even on the second viewing. it's the only film last year that i saw twice at the theater. the characters are memorable, the scenes are memorable, and the music is memorable. jude law proved this year to be one of the most versatile actors... his performance in this film was funny in that "annoying as fuck" kind of way. david o. russel is a talented director and his scripting talents are worthy of praise in this film. i will never forget how hard i laughed during mark walberg's christian family dinner interrogation scene.
7. alfie - i know a lot of people didn't really enjoy this but i found it very entertaining. i loved the pause narration style and even though jude law basically played himself... no one could have played the role better. i'm interested in seeing the original to make comparisons. i guess the only thing that bothered me about it was the length and predictability... the plot was obvious and shouldn't have been dragged out that long. regardless, i came out of the theater smiling because it's a great film.
8. the notebook - one of the most charming romances i've seen on screen. it reminded me of titanic minus the epic nature of a ship sinking. the hopeless romantic in me loves films like this. i would have loved to put this higher on the list if it weren't for the cheesy acting at many points but. i feel like sitting inside the movie and watching their characters develop.. watching them fall in love and watching them fall out of love. it's such a beautiful process on screen.
9. collateral - tom cruise does it again... except this time as a villain. i thought his role in this film was one of the biggest risks he's taken but he did it successfully. if he doesn't get at least an oscar nod for this i will be pissed off. he plays the same bad ass with a cold-blooded conscience like denzel washington from training day. jamie foxx did a great job as his taxi driver... theres this jazz club scene and it really is the definition of "cool".
10. kinsey - i love films that revolve around the topic of sex. considering this film was a biopic about a sexual revolutionary it was of high interest to me. liam neeson is one of talented british actors that rarely put on a poor performance (like anthony hopkins). i was surprised by many issues portrayed in the film.. i had no idea they existed like that in the 50s and 60s. the negatives? it was a little long for a story about a sex crazed professor.
runner ups:
garden state - if 1,000,000 indie rock kids didn't list this as their favorite movie of 2004 and if the soundtrack wasn't so "hip on a stick" i might have put this in the top 10. unfortunately, the films above do have better cinematic quality too. garden state was a cute story but it was still very amateurish (and it shows after being directed by zack braff).
kill bill: volume 2 - by tarentino's standards this film sucks but from a completely unbiased tarentino-free analysis... it's a damn good film. it's just impossible to look at the kill bill series without comparing it to FAR better works of art like reservoir dogs, pulp fiction, and jackie brown.
the terminal - while it may not be spielberg's best or anything near it... it was still so down to earth and funny. i almost wish it wasn't directed by spielberg so i couldn't compare it to anything else. |
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| my top 10 movie list of 2004 and reasons why |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|11:55 am] |
1. wicker park - i enjoy coming out of a film and having all these amazing things to say and then eventually when i run out of amazing things to say i think about all the flaws and how the film could have been better. when i watched wicker park i was speechless... i really didn't know what to say... i just knew that this film was made for people like me to watch. i know for a fact that everyone will not feel the same intimate connection with this film but thats the beauty of movies... we all have personal reasons for our emotional reaction to whats on the screen (whethers its laughter or tears). wicker park made my eyes water and it made me smile so big. i didn't think i'd ever shed a tear out of happiness but i did it when i saw this film. the complexities of a relationship filled with confusion are narrowed down to the simplicity of a relationship filled with love in just the ending sequence. oh and if you hate josh harnett you might be surprised by his performance in here. he's unexpectedly brilliant and genuine to character.
2. before sunset - this one could probably tie for #1 but theres something holding me back from claiming this as the greatest film of the year. maybe it's my love and attachment towards before sunrise... as an optimistic hopeless romantic, before sunrise is just more dreamy and less realistic. i like realism but sometimes i want to feel all sappy and shit... especially in a romantic comedy. however, after the events of the past year (as far as women go) i have to say this film touches on some very relevant subject material. ethan hawke and julie delpy are absolutely unforgettable and have some of the most beautiful onscreen chemistry i've seen. it's a great fucking script too... the conversation flows so well with the real-time shots.
3. we don't live here anymore - it's funny how one of the most depressing films of the year is up there with the best. i enjoy the characters in this film so much. i think mark rufallo's character works so well with naomi watts and laura dern's characters. i didn't really like the guy from six feet under... his acting was rather poor but everyone else was flawless. i challenge hollywood to make a film better than this about infidelity in marriage. it's fucking impossible.
4. the aviator - leonardo dicaprio is the shit. i always thought he was and i will never ever think differently. titanic is an excellent film and yeah he comes off as a pretty romantic boy but it's still a beautiful story and his acting is pretty damn good. in the aviator, dicaprio is another level of pretty damn good. he gets so into his part that it's difficult to even picture the type cast dicaprio we're so familiar with. i'm very into period films... i like looking at the past through the eyes of an ambitious director with visionary talent. scorcese has definitely mastered this technique through the decades... he's great at showing onscreen maturation not just in the character but in the scenery and the environment. i hope both of these guys win an oscar. they fucking deserve it.
5. closer - this film could have sucked some serious cock and i would have still been like "ok it's on my top 10 movie list of 2004". why? for the obvious reason... the last 3 minutes of the film when natalie portman walks through the streets in a gorgeous white shirt and jeans. those last 3 minutes of wholesome beauty are better than her strip tease scene. this is coming from a perverted porn watcher too. i dunno, she is just so damn classy. i wanted to marry her in garden state and then i reconsidered after i saw her in this. ok but natalie portman aside... the film is not bad... it's just not spectacular. there were some casting problems... julia roberts was a little too old and clive owen was a little too much of a bastard for me (his assholeness shielded his vunerability and that ruined the weakness that every character in this film should have). i need to watch it again to examine some things but honestly... it's entertaining. i can't wait till it comes out on dvd so i can pause frame that shit.
thats 1 through 5... 6 through 10 are coming up soon. |
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| outline of love: spell alka lime trio |
[Jan. 9th, 2005|02:01 am] |
i love the alcohol influenced conversational humor.
i want to make a list of 2004's top films but i want to be descriptive and analytical about it. i'm way too tired to be smart. so that entry will have to wait.
i want to cuddle with someone soon. lets do it. |
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